Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Is it possible to soak a snowball in vodka?

Winter with kids is so much fun.

And, winter with kids also sucks dinosaur balls. You just never know which one the day will bring. I've already received the no-school-tomorrow call tonight. I've beeen curled up in the fetal position, chewing on my hair ever since.

The great thing about entertaining your kids during the winter is that you get to be a kid again. You make forts, run with sleds (geezus I'm tired), kick up snowstorms with your boots and pretend that the icicles are magic crystals that Tinkerbell and her sidekicks need to make winter arrive on time. Or something. It was an elaborate plot. I got confused.

And yet we've had more meltdowns in the last week than in the last six months. Why, you ask?

Simple. Snow gear.

Both kids have developed an ongoing love-hate relationship with their winter outerwear. They love their snowpants. Then they hate their snowpants. The straps won't stay up and oh, god, now they are twisted. TWISTED! Initiate tantrum sequence.

They can't wait to try on their boots. Then their boots suck. Their socks are bunched up. The zipper is digging into their skin. Boots are the spawn of Satan.

Then, of course, I'm moving too slow. I'm moving too fast and now they think I'm going without them. I stepped on someone's hat. I dressed that one first, and this one wanted to go first. This one is screaming at me. This one is going for a time-out.

Mind you, we're still inside.

Don't even get me started on mittens. Specifically, the inability of mittens to stay on the hand, and the insanity of watching a two-year-old yank off her mitten in frustration, plunge her bare hand into the snow, and then scream because she has no mitten.

In general, once the whining subsides, we have great fun in the snow.

For eight minutes.

They'll only remember the eight minutes, right? That's what matters, right?!

I seem to remember spending hours outside in the snow with my brother. Now I realize that we were probably only out there long enough for my mom to retreat to the bedroom, smack herself with a pillow three times and then regroup in time to make us hot chocolate. And then we probably had a fistfight over who got more marshmallows.

So. Winter fun. What do you do?

I'm not casually asking, here. I'm desperately pleading.

I just saw a snowflake. QUICKLY, PEOPLE!


Eclipsed said...

Winter sucks hairy monkey balls when you're stuck inside with an energetic toddler who doesn't have an off switch and flips out at the sight of her hat and gloves. Fun times. Send me some spring.

Rainyday said...

We had a rough and tumble snow ball fight the other day. I made them both cry. I think that means I won!!
I've been stuck home yesterday/today with vomiting, diarrhea-y boys. I want to get them outside, out of the house, but I'm scared of the possibilities.

Kristin H. said...

You do exactly what your doing and then sneak chamomile into their hot chocolate and then watch them sleep all afternoon.

Just kidding, that just ensures that they don't sleep at night and I DON'T advocate that.

You're just in the thick of it. I went through the same thing when mine were that age. They are 6 and 8 now and it is WAY better. I just bought them Zipfy sleds, which they love and new boots (which they love and can put on by themselves.) We live in an area where it snows, but not all the time, so snow boots are a debatable topic. They're kind of digging them now.

Just hang in there and go into each activity expecting it to last 4.5 minutes. I find that lowering the bar works for me.

Kristy said...

Oh, you have me laughing with the title and then the first few sentences. So funny! I relate for sure. I try to think of different things to do inside. Playing at the sink, water play, painting or play do at the kitchen table takes a while, making "forts" with sheets keeps him entertained for awhile. Then, when all else fails I entice with "Oooh, let's pop some popcorn and put on a movie." The popcorn makes it feel all special like.

Melissa said...

Oh man the tantrums are relentless when it comes to snow gear. My two year old said to me yesterday, "I don't wike it when da snow falls fwom da sky!" Sorry dude, we live in NH. Have you tried ice skating - because there's a whole new venue in which they can have tantrums about different gear! Sorry, I have no advice, just commiseration.