Overheard in my car today:
"Brandy" (a.k.a. the name of the voice setting on my GPS. I know, she sounds like a total slut): After one half mile, turn left.
Me (blink blink): What the - ?? Brandy, we're cruising down the highway at 70 miles an hour. Turning bad. Very bad.
Brandy: SHARP LEFT.
Me (glance down at map to see that yes, she does in fact want me to pull a U-turn on the highway, RIGHT NOW): I have children in the car, you psycho. DEAR GOD, THE CHILDREN!
Brandy: SHARP LEFT!
Me: NOOO!!
Brandy: SHARP -
Me: IT'S A HIGHWAY!
Brandy: (recalculating route, hopefully to something less car-smashy and fatal)
Me: Why are you trying to kill us?? Is it because I never clean your touchscreen?! Is it because I leave you on the center console and never stick you proper-like on the windshield?? YOU ALWAYS FALL DOWN. NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LICK YOUR STUPID SUCTION CUP.
Brandy: Turn around when possible.
Me: I'm getting off at the next exit, fer Chrissake!
Brandy: Turn around when -
Me: Don't make me throw you.
Brandy: Sharp right.
Me: Slam. Slam. Slam.
Posts
On teaching me to slow down
4 hours ago
4 comments:
Technology is so helpful.
Mapquest once had me about 25 miles south and east of where I was meant to be...what should have been a 30 minute drive took me nearly two hours.
Helpful technology.
Could NOT love this post more...
did I ever mention how much you make me laugh???
I love it. I don't have a gps, I am not so very glad I don't.
:)
Hope you arrived safely ♥
Oh, Lisa, you never ever fail me. You always provide a good laugh; I'm sorry your GPS has failed you. If only we all could be so reliable. haha!! This is good stuff.
I just tweeted this post because I almost spit my coffee out laughing :) You are so damn funny girl.
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